Triggers. They're familiar to us all. Often, they are unwelcome stressors or disturbances we try to avoid at all costs. But what if I told you that triggers could actually be catalysts for transformation? As we learn to approach our triggers with compassion, awareness, and proactivity, we unveil paths to growth, healing, and profound change.

When a trigger strikes, our body signals that something significant is at play. It's like a rapid-fire stress response from our physiological systems, steering our reactions in ways we might not even realize. These reactions are deeply rooted in our nervous system, and stem from protective or coping mechanisms we develop early in life. 

Here’s an example: Imagine a child growing up in an environment where they frequently witness arguments and conflicts between their parents. In such a situation, the child may develop heightened sensitivity to signs of tension or conflict as a means of self-preservation or self-defense. When the child observes these conflicts, their body's stress responses kick in: an increase in heart rate, tense muscles, sweat, and perhaps heightened vigilance to potential threats in their environment. The child may learn to cope with avoidance (retreating to their room, seeking solace in activities like reading or playing with toys, or attempting to distract themselves from the conflict by focusing on something else entirely) or with aggression (raising their voice, expressing anger or frustration, or even physically intervening). Over time, the child’s heightened sensitivity to conflict and the coping patterns they adopt become ingrained in the child's nervous system, shaping their behavioral responses to similar situations later in life. Even as an adult, they may find themselves reacting in avoidant or aggressive ways when confronted with conflict and other high-stress situations, even if the threat is not as immediate or severe.

But if we pause and soften into the trigger, we can uncover its true message. Instead of “shooting the messenger”, we can listen to it, be curious about what it’s trying to tell us, and understand the raw emotional content behind our protective shields. This understanding presents an opportunity for change – it gives us the opportunity to unlearn patterns that may not be serving us and develop new ways of navigating them skillfully. As we’ve previously learned, transformative change occurs in moments when we consciously choose a response aligned with our authenticity and values, diverging from our conditioned reactions. 

Of course, this isn't an easy feat. Our minds spin convincing tales, making it simpler to contemplate change than to embody it. What can we do to better understand our triggers?

Work with a life coach or therapist to help you:

1. Notice & track your triggers: Note when you are triggered as well as the circumstances surrounding the trigger (what happened, where you were, who you were with, what you were doing), your thoughts and feelings, and any physical sensations you may have experienced (changes in heart rate, muscle tension, sweating, trembling, or other bodily responses).

2. Explore past experiences: Look for recurring themes or patterns in your past experiences that may be linked to your current triggers. Think back to memories – particularly those from childhood or significant life events – that may have contributed to the development of certain triggers. Put on your detective cap and figure out why or how these experiences may have influenced your beliefs, coping mechanisms, and emotional responses.

3. Develop coping strategies: Identify strategies that can help you manage your triggers when they arise. This might include relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness practices, physical activity, or creative outlets like journaling or art therapy.

4. Challenge negative beliefs: Examine any negative beliefs or thought patterns associated with your triggers and challenge them with more rational or balanced perspectives. Practice reframing your thoughts in a more constructive and empowering way to reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions.

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate with yourself as you explore your triggers. Recognize that triggers are a natural part of being human and that it's okay to experience them. Treat yourself with patience and understanding as you work towards becoming a better version of you.